23 and 25. These two numbers changed my life in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. These numbers represented the degree of the top and bottom curve of my spine. I have scoliosis, which is a lateral curve of the spine. I was diagnosed when I was 10 years old and wore a back-brace after that until I was 13. Here is my open letter to that back-brace.
Dear Back-brace,
Hey old friend, long time no see, thankfully. Right now you are in my attic collecting dust, where you should be. But before, before you were around me. I wore you every day for 22 hours. When I slept you were pushy, always making me change positions. You didn't let me sleep on my side. I remember eating with you also, you were very constrictive, always making it so that when my stomach was full, it hurt because it was enclosed in your plastic walls. You made me hungry and uncomfortable; that wasn't cool.
You also made clothes pretty difficult to wear. I remember when I first put you on I couldn't button my pants so I started to cry. I was at an age when fashion was important and I felt like everyone could see you under my clothes and I felt self-conscious. I was at an age when I was trying to fit in, but with you I stood out like that one red ball among all the blue ones.
You made everything a big deal, sitting, shopping, hugging, running, everything. I couldn't run with you because you constricted my breathing. When I coughed you bruised my ribs. When I sat down you made it so I couldn't feel the top of my right thigh. But you were helping me right? You had long velcro straps and fabric on the inside and plastic on the outside. You pinched and squeezed my skin. You were the closet thing to a modern-day corset. You were helping me so I wouldn't have to have surgery. But you made my life miserable.
We've come a long way since the early days of back braces. (Ephemeral Scraps / Flickr)
See, now, I could have let you ruin me. I could have stayed up at night tossing and turning and crying because you made everything hurt. But I didn't. Instead I embraced you. I was not going to let a piece of plastic make my life miserable. I was still me. I was still Riley. I still loved photography, trying to change the world, writing, books, learning, my family, my friends, and so much more. And you could never change that. I realized fully that you were helping me. My scoliosis was treatable, I was one of the lucky ones, I didn't need surgery. There are some teenagers who have things that can't be treated and they live their lives in hospitals, but that wasn't me. I was still walking and breathing and living my life because I would not let YOU bring me down.
In closing, even though we didn't have the greatest relationship, if someone gave me the chance to never have you in my life I would say no. You shaped me, as in literally changing my spine and figuratively shaping my mentality. I realized that I was strong and that being happy is a choice. People have to choose how they look at things in life and think, "Hey, am I really going to let this define me or ruin my life?" I realized that it is more than okay to be the red ball among all the blue ones, because that makes you that much more special and unique. That, my friend, is a good thing. Because honestly, if there are a ton of blue balls and only one red one, everyone will want the red one.
I also learned, through you, that having a positive attitude isn't always an easy thing to choose, but everyone has that choice. I know you made it very difficult at times to see the positive side of things. But sometimes the most valuable things in life don't come easily.
So I guess I want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me that I can make my life whatever I want and I won't let anything or anyone clip my wings.
Sincerely,
Riley
Source : Go Kicker , 4th Dec 2015
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